Stop Improving & Allow Your True Self to Emerge | Blog

Stop Improving & Allow Your True Self to Emerge | Blog

“Always look for the beauty. Because eventually when you find the true secret, you'll find yourself. Your True Self. And when you find this True Self, you'll find the world that you want.” -Sydney Banks

What is the real source of transformation? How do we shift, change or create? Where do fresh ideas and fresh experiences of ourselves and our lives come from?

For most of my adult life, I was very interested in my psychology, my moods, my personality, my behaviors, my results. Why? Because I thought the more, I understood myself, the better I would be at living my life to the fullest. The more I would live up to my full potential. The more I could create the life I desired.

Being oriented in this direction kept me dug into mental constructs, ideas about who I thought I was. All of this was an “awareness” model.

But here's the thing – all that self-awareness ultimately just led to more self-consciousness and having myself on my mind – A LOT. I was analyzing, diagnosing myself. It did not lead to transformation; it led to more things to solve and figure out. It did not lead to fresh insight, I just kept rehashing the same old issues and falling short.

When I started my own journey into this work and understanding I began to see that transformation was a spiritual act, not an act of will.

Transformation comes from within. From seeing something different. From a shift in consciousness. A shift in perception. An insight.

And here was the really surprising and hard part for me to grasp…I was not manufacturing it. I was not ‘making it happen’. This was, and if I’m being honest, can still be the hardest thing for me. To really look and consider, that transformation and insight is not being ‘done’ by me.

All my teachers and mentors in this work would tell me…you can't figure it out. Find the feeling and just live.

That sounded crazy to me. It just looked like way more than that was required. When they would say things like, “Enjoy your life.” “Feel the beauty.”, etc. I would sort of scoff inside and think, “I don’t want to settle for life. I want to do more, be more, etc.”

But something kept nudging me from within. Pay attention. There's something here.

That small voice kept me listening. And I had a couple of realizations that have helped me orient myself in a new direction.

I started to get more curious about what was behind life; who we really are versus all my ideas of who I thought I was and who I should be. 

My ideas of ‘self’ began to shift. I started to see the fluid nature of ourselves, our personalities and our experiences. As that happened, my ideas and my self-image got shaky in a really lovely way.

By looking in this new direction, a whole new world opened up for me.

I saw how my longing for an idealized image of myself kept me from experiencing my True Self – my essence.

I had a huge misunderstanding. I didn’t realize that by looking to behaviors, the past, trying to get my act together or trying to fix myself that I was staying in the shallow end of the pool. I totally underestimated the power of seeing beyond my results, my past and my behaviors to a more profound and rich experience that awaits us in the deep end.

When we stop trying to fix ourselves or figure things out, we naturally fall into a richer internal space. That internal space is limitless potential. It’s a field of infinite possibilities. From this space, this place, we are able to experience ourselves in a fresh way.

We must look to the invisible to see more. We must learn not to rely on what is visible for the source of well-being, fulfillment and knowing but to rely on the invisible presence of our true self.

From this space, we are able to experience more of who we are and what is possible for us.

This is not from a ‘doing’ it is completely 100% from our ‘being’.

When we are at home, connected to our true nature, we are tapped into an energy force that has unlimited potential. This becomes fertile soil for new fruit to bear in our lives and in our work. This is the source of shifts and transformation.

“When we are at home, connected to our true nature, we are tapped into an energy force that has unlimited potential.”

True power is not living towards some mental image of yourself but in BEING yourself.

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Barbara Patterson is the owner of a global coaching and consulting company helping solopreneurs, entrepreneurs & leaders access more clarity, creativity, have greater impact and higher levels of fulfillment in work and life. She is the founder of Beyond Limits in Business, a global platform and community designed to point people to the source of human potential. That potential resides within and is experienced via our minds. If you’d like to experience in-depth, robust and transformative mentoring for you and your business check out Barb’s 4-month virtual Beyond Limits Small Group Mentoring ProgramBarb is also the host of the Real Business Real Lives podcast. You can follow Barb on LinkedinTwitter and Instagram. You can also subscribe to her weekly blog on her website at 



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