I’m writing this email from the plane as I make my annual trip home for the holidays. I wish I could say I’m filled with anticipation and excitement that I get to be with family, but here’s the truth, I’m feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious.

It’s also true that I’m looking forward to seeing and being with everyone, but I’m conscious that at this moment, I have a big knot in my stomach, my internal state is noisy, and my head is full of all the things I should be doing or should have already done. They are looming out there like the boogieman waiting to get me.

Do you ever feel like you’re carrying the weight of all your undone tasks? Do you hold your to-do list and unfinished projects in your mind, feeling pressured, behind, or stressed and think, “If I only had more time.”. Do you say things like, “I need to get all this done before I take a break.”. Me too.

This is especially prevalent for many of us during this time of year.

These feelings of pressure and anxiety can feel justified when we imagine all the potential scary outcomes of not getting things done. They feel real when we put expectations or standards on ourselves for things to look a certain way or we try to meet some idealized image of what the holidays should be.

Here are some reminders that are helping me and, if needed, will hopefully help you too:

• Breathe – take a few deep breaths.
• Relax your shoulders, relax your jaw, and let your mind settle.
• Peace and calm are within. We can find it by remembering where to look.
• Our sped-up, pressured internal state does not have helpful information in it. When our minds are constricted, our thinking gets more constricted, and feelings intensify.
• When we go beyond our thinking to the deeper well within, we find our inner stability and naturally tap into more feelings of presence and well-being.
• Extend compassion and grace to yourself.
• Create some space in your mind and in your day.
• A little space mixed with compassion and grace goes a really long way.
• Let all the to-do’s and expectations fall away and instead allow the moments of presence to fill you and touch you.

There is likely always more that we could do or wish we would have already done, and we might have dropped the ball on a few things. Let’s do our best to let it all go.

It‘s ok. You're ok.

Let’s let all the to-dos and expectations fall away and instead allow the moments of presence to grab our attention.

Moments with family, with a pet, with nature, with a cup of coffee or tea, a good book, quiet moments we have by ourselves, or conversations with others.

No perfection is required.

Let’s let love, compassion, and grace be our guiding compass over these holidays.

In the words of Alan Watts, let's “stop measuring our days by degrees of productivity and instead measure them by degrees of presence.”

That's my wish for all of us over the holidays – more moments of peace, presence, and connection.