The Best Business Advice I've Ever Gotten Might Surprise You | Blog

This Advice Changed Everything

I couldn't move. I was exhausted and drained, mentally and emotionally. I was in the same position, flat out for most of the day. I had just taught my first-ever public workshop the previous three days.

Why was I so tired? The weekend went well, people were engaged, and I had fun. At first, I attributed it to doing something new, and similar to building new muscles, we can get fatigued.

Later, I would realize that the exhausting part wasn't that I was new at it; it was because I was trying to be good at it.

I wanted to do well, have an impact, and make a difference. The problem wasn't my intention but what I thought I had to do to get there.

I thought being good, and having an impact, meant I needed to demonstrate that I was competent, professional, and smart. I had so many ideas of what it meant to be a good instructor and facilitator, and I was trying to live up to those ideas. Living up to those ideas, holding them as I taught, while trying to manage perception and control all the outcomes was exhausting.

A few years later, a mentor said to me, “Your ideas of what makes a good instructor, consultant, and coach, are getting in the way of your intimacy and impact with others.” She challenged me to let go of all my ideas and see what happens when I show up real, human to human versus professional to client or teacher to student.

The falling away of all these ideas, standards, and rules about how we need to be or show up in business had a significant and meaningful impact on my work.

What if you being you is what takes your business and impact to new levels?

What if no “extra” is needed? By extra, I mean you don't need to be more appropriate, professional, or polished, or you don't need to be “on.”

Trying to be what we think is needed so that we can be good or so somebody respects us is exhausting and robs us and others from experiencing our unique impact.

These are old paradigms of what it means to be effective in business. What people crave more and more in today's world, what new research and data are showing us, is that you being authentically you is what builds rapport, connection, and trust.

People respond to where we come from inside ourselves. They're responding to the feeling we bring to the exchange.

We can be more rigid or stiff when we show up more buttoned up, professional, and trying to look a part, and it's less impactful than when we show up more comfortable in our skin, more authentically ourselves.

When we aim for connection and rapport, people feel us. As they feel us, they trust us.

You being you allows your unique expression, perception, and energy to guide the work. This authentic connection creates a powerful foundation for impact and influence.

What if you let go of all your ideas about what it means to be professional, appropriate, and credible, and instead, you showed up as yourself?

What if the key to success, joy, and fulfillment in your work and life is simply you being you?

“Trying to be what we think is needed so that we can be good or so somebody respects us is exhausting and robs us and others from experiencing our unique impact.

There are huge payoffs in being yourself. Interested in exploring this more? Check out the upcoming YOU BE YOU 2-Day Workshop I'm co-teaching with Michael Neill.

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Barbara Patterson is the owner of a global coaching and consulting company helping solopreneurs, entrepreneurs & leaders access more clarity, creativity, have greater impact and higher levels of fulfillment in work and life. She is the founder of Beyond Limits in Business, a global platform and community designed to point people to the source of human potential. That potential resides within and is experienced via our minds. Barb is also the host of the Real Business Real Lives podcast. You can follow Barb on Linkedin and Instagram. You can also subscribe to her weekly blog on her website at 



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