Riding the Waves versus Fixing Them | Blog

I'm exhausted!

This last week has been one of those weeks where I've gone from...

"I love what I'm doing and I'm so grateful!" to "What the H-E-double hockey sticks am I doing, nothing is working."

"You got this" to "Am I even on the right path?"

I'm talking multiple times in a day!

Excitement to confusion. Hope to discouragement. It's going great to nothing is flowing. Surrender to push. Trust to trying to fix.

Are you getting a picture of my internal state? Yep, it's not been fun, that's for sure.

This Lucille Ball gif pretty much sums up my experience 🙃

These waves of thoughts and feelings, and trying to sort it all out with my mind, are exhausting and draining.

I wish I hadn't taken all my thinking so seriously and ridden this week with more grace and less attachment, but for whatever reason, I've been in the waves, getting whipped around versus surfing them.

To be honest, I'm not quite "on the other side" either. I'm teetering on the surfboard and pretty sure I'm going to fall any second.

The one thing that's helping me the most is knowing that my thoughts and feelings, these highs and lows, aren't really telling me how I'm doing or how my life and business are going.

They're telling me the state of my mind, my inner climate, in the moment. End of story.

When I remember this, really remember it, not just as a nice idea, but the truth of it – it softens everything.

Suddenly, I don’t have to take my mental chatter and weather patterns so personally. Sydney Banks, who has been a huge influence on my work, pointed to something so simple and profound: We live in the feeling of our thinking, not the feeling of our circumstances.

It’s wild how easy it is to forget this. One minute, I’m sure my messy thoughts mean I need to overhaul my entire life (or at least my website), and the next, I remember, “Oh right, this is just my mind doing its thing.

From there, my shoulders relax in the truth.

From this space and more relaxed internal state, I also remember:

Waves happen. You can’t control the ocean, and you can’t control the mind. Thoughts rise and fall, moods shift, clarity comes and goes.

The waves aren’t me. They’re just energy moving through, not a verdict on my character or my business plan.

Trying to “fix” the waves usually makes things worse. The more I wrestle with my thinking, the more tangled I get.

So what helps me “surf” instead of sink?

It’s not about forcing myself to be positive or pushing away uncomfortable feelings. It’s about letting the waves roll, trusting that a deeper intelligence is always underneath, steady and undisturbed.

This is our true nature - the core of us that’s always okay, no matter what’s happening on the surface.

When I (finally) stop arguing with my experience and just let myself ride it out, even if I’m flailing a little, I notice I come back to center more quickly.

I might not always look graceful, that’s for sure, but there’s an ease that sneaks in when I stop taking the highs and lows so seriously.

So if you’re having a week (or a month) of mental wipeouts, or if you’re exhausted from riding the waves of the ups and downs, hope and frustrations, you’re not alone.

We all forget, get tumbled, and then remember again. The waves aren’t a problem; they’re part of being human.

What matters is realizing that who you are, at your essential core, is safe, whole, and undisturbed.

Here’s to riding it out, waves and all. 🏄‍♀️