EPISODE #23

Loosening Identity: Even the Ones We Love | Aila & Barb

with Aila Coats and Barb Patterson

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About This Episode

In this conversation, we explore the identities we hold about ourselves, including the ones we value most.


From being a “good parent” or a “loyal friend” to a “strong leader,” these identities can feel grounding. And yet, they often carry expectations and pressure that quietly shape how we relate to ourselves and others.


We look at what happens when identity becomes a filter, pulling us out of direct experience and into ideas about who we should be. And how, even with the best intentions, it can create unnecessary tension and self-judgment.


This conversation opens into a different way of being. One where transformation isn’t about becoming someone better, but about loosening what was never fixed to begin with and meeting what’s here, in real time.


From there, something more honest and alive begins to unfold.

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Meet Your Hosts

Aila Coats

A transformative coach, author of Coaching Teens Well, and creator of Coaching Well Mastermind, Aila has helped hundreds of coaches, parents, and leaders find their voice, serve deeply, and build thriving practices rooted in genuine connection. She’s known for her heart, wisdom, attunement, and ability to translate insight into tangible creation – helping practitioners embody what they teach in their own lives and work.

Barbara Patterson

Founder of Innerverse Global, Barb works at the intersection of human potential, transformation, and creation. Her work integrates spiritual intelligence with real-world impact — helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and practitioners bring awakening into their work and everyday lives. Known for her clarity, humor, and deep presence, she invites people into a direct relationship with their own knowing — and to live what they see.