Over the last month or so, I've been exploring this question…”Is anything else required, other than showing up, as we are, in any given moment? Is extra required? Extra edge. Extra personality. Do I need to be “on”? 

Is there more to do than show up and be present? Do I need to be “doing” something more?

This question came to my mind after a day of meeting new people and potential new clients. It was as if I had a bird's eye view of myself and I could see every time I thought I needed to add an extra ingredient: more credibility, more confidence, more intelligence or I needed to help them see something, things got hard. They felt more stilted, more effortful. I started to shift to a different gear inside myself. Yet, when I wasn't on my mind, when I was present and engaged, I felt alive, connected and more comfortable. I was able to follow the natural flow of the conversation. I could hear what mattered to the person and respond. There was energy, connection and a rich and powerful exchange.

That question has been sitting with me ever since. Could it be true that nothing extra is required other than just being ourselves in the moment? Is this true in all situations? Building a business, leading others, getting clients? 

I can see that when I'm not on my mind, when I'm present and engaged, I feel alive, connected, more comfortable. I am able to follow the natural momentum of the conversation or my work. I naturally see where to go. When I start to evaluate, assess, track things, I start to think there is more to “do” or more is needed.

Recently, Carrie Cunnington and I did a 30-day virtual training with a national sales team. We had over 60 participants. The overall intent of the training was to show people the power and potential of a freer mind. To help them understand the connection between the quality of their minds and the sales process; from client engagement, to fulfillment, working with colleagues and building their individual portfolios. 

In sales, it can often look like more is required. I need to “drive” the conversation a certain way. I need to “prove” why they need this. I need to “build trust”, I need a good “pitch”. Yet, what we heard over and over again throughout the 30 days, often with shock and surprise, was similar to what I saw above. When they showed up, present, listening with a free mind, the connection, the conversation and creative solutions were a natural output. They didn't have to make that happen. And even more surprising, credibility and trust rose the more comfortable and connected they were.

What if that's true everywhere?  

I spoke to a CEO recently that was talking about how exhausted he was from having to be “on”. I knew what he meant. I've felt that myself. Yet, with this new insight, I asked if we could explore that idea a little more? What if he could show up to the client events, industry and networking events with a freer mind? What if there was nothing else to do? He was skeptical. Like a lot of us, he had this idea that being “on” was important. That he had to “gear up” or make an effort to connect. However, he had already begun to see how his leadership was positively impacted through this understanding, so he decided to experiment at the next event. 

He texted me during the event with this, “Wish I'd known this earlier in my career.” When we spoke, he shared how he would catch himself getting tense or feeling like he had to gear up and would just relax and get present. He talked about how fun the event was and how he learned more about others. He said he left more energized after the first day and wasn't dreading day two. This was no small thing to him. He realized how much mental energy he wasted on dreading these types of “necessary evils” and now sees the potential to have a whole new experience of these events.

Often it looks like a little extra would be a good thing. A little more of something would be good. As if, being who we are, as we are, needs something more. What if that is an illusion of thought? What if nothing else is needed?

You might be thinking, “There is something to do, though. I have to build relationships, win the business, build my credibility or demonstrate value, etc.”

Here is what I invite you to consider and explore for yourself…

When we show up to a conversation, a sales call, a presentation or an event with an idea that we have to “be” a certain way, we have to be “on” or a little “extra” is needed; we live in the effect of that thinking.  We live in a feeling of pressure and anxiety. Even if it's low grade, it's having an impact. It affects the quality of our minds in that moment.

The quality of our minds has a direct relationship to the quality of our experience. 

When we show up with less on our minds, less of us on our minds, we feel relaxed, comfortable in our skin, and are naturally more present and connected. From this space, we tap into fresh thought, we enjoy the moment more and we know where to go. When we have more mental bandwidth, what we need comes forward and we are able to have more impact. Overall, creating a powerful and rich experience.

How we show up matters. But perhaps not in the way we have thought before. We don't have to show up with things on our minds or a certain way. We can show up, present with a free mind and experience the power and potential of our minds to create connection and give us insightful thought in the moment. We access new depths in our relationships and new momentum in our work.