Is love appropriate in business? If you put love first does it mean you will be less successful? Or you won't do the hard things like give tough feedback, hold someone accountable or stick it out during the harder times. Will you be too soft?

This last weekend I had some good friends in town. While exploring the Columbia River Gorge, we were having a conversation about life and work. My friend said something that felt radical but at the same time makes complete sense. When I asked him what he is learning and seeing for himself this year in business and life he said, “Love Rules. Love Conquers All.” Now, I know this person and the fact that he said this is not surprising however, I think it would be surprising to know that he absolutely attributes this to his ability to experience new levels of success, fulfillment and joy in his work life. 

When he spoke these words, I felt the truth of them. I could feel the strength of them. The power of them. 

Putting love first is not the easy thing to do. Often it is the harder choice. We have all sorts of ideas that it's “soft” or will weaken you or let others take advantage of you. We can believe that there is no place for love in business.

What if putting love first is strength and creates a guiding compass that allows you to move through the big challenges with more wisdom and grace. 

My friend has had his share of challenges, big ones. So, what has he seen that allows him to say, “Love Rules. Love Conquers All.” with such conviction? 

When we step into life and our work with more presence, goodwill and yes, love, we access more wisdom and insight for the moment or the challenge. When we lean into our righteousness, even when we're “right”, or we feel justified for staying angry, upset or for our ill-will, we impede our intelligence and we suffer from more stress, wear and tear. Often when we need our strength and wisdom most.

Last year I was working with business partners who have run a multi-million-dollar company for almost twenty years. Relationships had been eroding and were creating tension amongst the whole team. They had big goals and wanted to keep growing but were often derailed by contentious conversations that would not go anywhere and would leave everyone feeling upset and hopeless. 

In my previous consulting work, I would have thought the way to help them would be to “air their grievances” and listen to one another. Then we would have tried to sort through it all and see if we could compromise or get on the same page. That would take time and let's be honest, did not always resolve the deeper relationship breakdown. It was surface and while it might have helped get to a decision, it was hit or miss on whether it would actually repair the underlying feeling of the team or partners on a long-term basis.

This time, we did not air any grievances. We did not rehash the past. We did not listen to what went wrong and why everyone has a right to feel the way they do. And yet, they were able to turn things around. They were able to get over their feelings, the past and step into fresh thinking and new feelings of warmth, goodwill and collaboration. How did that happen? By making goodwill a priority. Or as my friend says, “letting love rule.”

Beyond our reactions, our hurts, our opinions of right and wrong lies goodwill, understanding and hope. When leaders & entrepreneurs let this be their guiding force, they have transformative conversations, shifts in performance and create cultures and teams that thrive. They get to the heart of the matter more easily and create a fresh way forward.

When goodwill and rapport take the lead, resolution, new ideas, new options and possibilities emerge. Old hurts and feelings of ill-will disappear. People and teams find their way to solutions and next steps that are aligned and often more innovative. What comes from these types of conversations has more staying power. They create change that sticks.

When leaders and business owners see the incredible power and creative force of goodwill; of love; they are less tolerant of bad feelings for each other, a client or a situation. They see that feelings of warmth, goodwill and yes, even love are huge assets in leading others, negotiations and resolving issues. 

One of my favorite mentors, Elsie Spittle, often says, “Love is the anesthesia.” It numbs the pain and allows people to hear the truth.

If having access to more well-being, inspiration, creativity and intelligence matters in your work, then I encourage you to let love have more presence in your day to day life and work. 

When the stakes are high, love is the answer. When times are tough, love is the answer. When resolution is needed, love is the answer. When it matters most, love is the answer. 

In the words of my friend, “Love rules. Love conquers all.”