Can I trust myself? Can I trust life? Can I trust the inner pull to let go and listen more deeply?

When things slowed down for me significantly last year, I realized that there was a layer of fear that was still running beneath the surface of my mind. I feared that if I didn’t hold a tight grip on myself, or stay on top of myself, things would fall apart. I feared that things would go backward if I didn't try harder or do more.

As much as I have learned over the last ten years about our minds and our essential nature, It was clear that there was an opportunity to trust myself and life more deeply. 

I could feel the pull of something within, encouraging me to let go even more. To see what I would discover by slowing down even more. I could see there was still a level of effort, force, and push that might not be serving me. It was also evident that I was still more comfortable “doing” than “being”. 

One central theme or question seemed to keep returning, could I trust that it's not all on me? 

Sure, I could say I trust that I'll be ok no matter what or that things always work out in the end, but when it looked like things might be going off the rails or all momentum had disappeared, could I trust even then? Could I trust that I wasn't getting in the way somehow? Could I trust the slowing down of activity, or was this a test for me to push harder? 

It seemed that life and my inner wisdom were guiding me to lay down those doubts and fears and see what was on offer beyond all my efforting. 

I found myself asking, was it on me, Barb, and my personality, determination, grit, and push, or was there a more graceful, less effortful way to move in my business? Was it on me, or could I trust in life? Could I trust that ultimately, I am not alone? 

It was humbling and yet clear to me; I wasn't sure. I could see that life was presenting me with an opportunity to trust more deeply, but I was also living in the experience of internal doubt and questioning. 

Are we held by something greater than our minds, our effort, and our doing? Is there something else available to us besides rational, logical, evidence-based thinking or strategies?

This question is central to our ability to let go and discover a new way forward. It is central to our ability to go into the unknown and discover new territory.

When we think it is up to us alone to make good things happen and keep bad things from happening it makes sense to hold tight, push harder and try to manipulate life so we can achieve our goals and desires. 

The problem is that it often leaves us feeling isolated and stuck in rumination or mired in a persistent feeling of stress and confusion. Our thinking minds can hold us back rather than propel us forward. 

If you're like me and have given more power to your thinking mind, your logical mind, as a way to feel more certain in the world and how it works, then letting go, trusting that there is another way to move in our work and lives, is no easy leap. Our minds will search for the right way, the sure way. It will try to keep us safe and, in doing so, will potentially keep us from finding new life and a more profound sense of who we can be in the world. 

Our paths and desires may appear harder and farther away in our minds. Our minds can, and often do, make mountains out of molehills. It will argue for your limits. 

What if we stopped placing so much stock in our thinking minds and instead invited in our more expansive awareness and intuitive knowing? 

Are you ready to live beyond what you know and even understand? Are you willing to live beyond the need for answers, plans, assurances, and explanations? Are you ready to not know? 

When we surrender our thoughts and let them move through us, we naturally fall into and experience a more expansive knowing. We are literally accessing a different part of our brains, and we experience more aware perception. We see more choices and possibilities available to us, and we are more open to insight and more in tune with life. 

Letting go of the grip of our thinking minds leads us to more knowing and trust. We don't forsake ourselves or our dreams; we find a way to be in relationship with all of life and, as a result, have more resources at hand. 

Life is dynamic and fluid and presents us with opportunities for expansion, connection, and fulfillment every day. Yet when we are running across the surface of our lives trying to get to that “thing” or make sure everything doesn't fall apart, we miss it. 

When we attune to that deeper nature within life and within ourselves, we realize it is no longer us against the world, but we are hearing and seeing what life has to say. In this space, we recognize how supported we are. 

We learn to not only trust ourselves and trust life, but we see that by doing so, we wake up more fully to all that is on offer for us. We are often surprised by life. 

The deeper knowing and certainty that it is not on us alone gives us the courage to stay the course, try new things, and takes us to new levels of depth and ease. 

It would be nice if I could wrap this up today with a “happy ending” and proof with a fantastic outcome to show you that it does, in fact, work out better than we imagined. But here's the truth, I'm on this journey with you. What I can say, without any doubt, is that life and my work feel richer and more alive in this direction. 

Perhaps, this passage from Alana Fairchild will speak to you as it spoke to me.

“You are being asked to dance, rather than understand, to lay the thoughts to rest and come alive. It is the bravest, most trusting soul that dares to put the mind to one side and say, “Tonight we dance.”

What if life is inviting you to trust more? Where could you let go, trust and dance?