Beyond The Fantasy: A Deeper Becoming Is Unfolding | Blog

It starts with an idea.

A dream.
A vision.
A spark of something we want to create or experience.

Perhaps a business, a move, a new offering in our work, a challenge, a new direction or job, or an adventure.

And with it comes a picture, images, of new possibilities. How we’ll show up. What it will do for us. We imagine how we’ll feel and what it will open up in our work and lives.

Sometimes we even believe it’s the answer we’ve been seeking, and it will change everything.

And then…we begin.

And what unfolds doesn’t quite match the images that played in our minds.

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to move to Paris for work. I had all sorts of romantic notions about what that experience would be like. I mean, it is Paris after all!

I didn’t speak the language, but I was excited. I pictured myself learning French by immersing myself in the experience, watching French movies, and listening to music. I imagined sipping an aperitif at a café and exchanging charming conversation with locals. And in the spirit of complete transparency, I might have also imagined meeting a Frenchman along the way. 😉

It was going to be my grand adventure. I was already imagining how I would tell the tales of Paris and how it changed my life.

What actually happened?

I went the wrong way on the Métro – more than once.

I was scolded at in a grocery store for touching the fruit.

I pretended I was just looking around in a store because I didn’t know how to ask questions about the items.

I struggled to communicate and would use hand gestures, facial expressions, and a lot of pointing.

For weeks, I said, “Bonne nuit,” to everyone when leaving work, thinking I was saying “have a good night,” when it’s a phrase more commonly used when you want to say, “Good night, I’m going to bed.”

And I spent my evenings turning off French TV shows because my brain couldn’t process any more unfamiliar words.

The good news, people were incredibly generous and kind all along the way.

The not-so-good news…

I was in over my head and often mentally drained during those first few months.
At times, I felt isolated.

But here’s the thing…as with most new experiences, over time, I began to find my way.

I never became fluent, not in the way I imagined. But I could navigate conversations, get around the city, and even laugh at my own awkwardness.

More importantly, I discovered something even better than what I had imagined.

I learned the power of connection via goodwill, warmth, and openness. It goes a long way when language is a struggle.

I discovered a new level of resilience.

I learned to trust myself, to adapt, and if I stayed open to it all, I would learn and grow.

I made incredible friendships and gained new insights into different cultures.

It just didn’t look anything like what I had originally imagined.

Maybe you can relate.

We often romanticize the beginning of things. We fall in love with the idea of who we’ll be, what it will feel like, and how others might see us.

And when that fantasy collides with the reality of change, internal noise, being destabilized, the unknown, and lower-than-expected or hoped-for results, we get discouraged.

We start to second-guess ourselves and our decisions.

Did I make a mistake?
Why isn’t this easier?
What am I doing wrong?

Sometimes we bail way too soon,  because the results don’t match the vision. The outer world isn’t mirroring the dream we had in our head.

This has happened to me in my business, too.

There was a course I created that I felt deeply inspired to share. I poured myself into it. I felt so clear about its value, so certain that others would feel it too. But when I started to promote it… nothing. Crickets.

I couldn’t believe it.

The disappointment came fast. My mood tanked. I questioned everything.

I wondered if I had wasted my time or if the whole idea had been a mistake. And then, after a few heavy days (and one morning when I woke up with my neck completely frozen from stress), I started to come back to myself.

I remembered…
The more discouraged and gripped I feel, the less clearly I can see.
When my mood drops, my thinking follows.

It’s true for all of us.

We don’t want to trust the conclusions we draw from a low or agitated internal state.

Once I had a little space from the noise, I could hear something deeper. A quieter message: Stay the course.

That one message, coming from my deeper wisdom, helped me shift. It reminded me that the unfolding isn’t always immediate or obvious. Sometimes we’re still in the part of the story where something essential is coming into form, through us, even if we can’t see it.

I could see that, even though the outer results weren’t there yet, the process had already given me so much. New ideas. A renewed sense of creativity. A deeper understanding of what I wanted to say and how I could serve.

Measuring my progress, how it was going, by the numbers alone, was a limited view.

Real progress isn’t always visible.

It’s not always the flashy result or the idealized outcome.
Sometimes it’s the quiet becoming that happens in the doing.
The deepening. The resilience. The creativity. The self-trust.

So if you’re in that place right now where what’s happening doesn’t match what you hoped for, I want to offer a gentle reminder:

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not off track.

What if nothing is wrong at all?

What if this is just the part where the dream meets reality, and in that meeting, something richer is being formed?

It’s normal to have expectations. It’s human to imagine the best version of what’s to come. But when we grip too tightly to that fantasy, to what we thought it would be, we miss the gifts of the actual moment we’re in.

Sometimes what we thought the reward would be isn’t the reward at all.
Sometimes, the becoming is the real win.

So today, I invite you to drop in.
Check in with yourself.

Is there a place where you’re discouraged simply because what is doesn’t match what you thought it would be?

Can you soften your grip just a little?
Can you listen for the deeper invitation underneath the noise?

Progress isn’t always external.
Sometimes it’s the simple, quiet act of staying true – even when things get real.

And often, that’s when we realize:
The vision was never wrong.
It’s just that who we’re becoming is even more powerful than what we imagined.