00:00:12:04 - 00:00:55:12 Unknown I welcome in today's episode, you get me. As part of the launch of the new podcast, I'm experimenting with doing some solo episodes, so we'll see how it goes and you can let me know. Today I want to share something that's fairly fresh, but has been really meaningful for me. And I'll start by telling you about a time when I was living in Scotland a year and a half ago or so, and I had taken up wild swimming and cold water spending, and as part of that journey, I hired a coach, you know, to give me support on what you need to think about or keep in mind when you're swimming in really frigid temperatures 00:00:55:12 - 00:01:19:00 Unknown or also swimming in the sea is a little different than, swimming laps in a pool. My coaches name was tinny, and tinny would be on a kayak next to you usually during the lessons. And, you know, she would stop me at different times to give me feedback on my swimming, on my stroke, whatever it might be. 00:01:19:02 - 00:01:39:07 Unknown And on this particular day when I arrived, we got in the water and as my body was adjusting to the call with, she said, okay, the target today is the buoy, which was about a half a mile out. So I was like, all right, let's do this. So I started swimming and after swimming for a few minutes to stop me. 00:01:39:09 - 00:02:02:08 Unknown And so I was looking at her, kind of expecting to hear something about my arms or my hips or whatever it might be. But on this stage, she said to me, Barb, look at the sun on the water. Isn't it really beautiful the way it's glistening? And I looked and I was like, yeah, that that is really beautiful. 00:02:02:10 - 00:02:34:19 Unknown And then she said, look at the mist on the shore and how it's starting to clear. Isn't that amazing? And, you know, I looked at her and she was right. It was really beautiful, but I could I was also wondering, like, what's up? Because this was not like today. I'll just share briefly, let's take a sidebar that this is the same woman that the week or two prior had said to me, you know, I think it would just be really good for you to get your first jellyfish sting out of the way. 00:02:34:21 - 00:03:05:15 Unknown And here I was, hoping I'd never have to have that first. But anyway, on this day, Tina was teaching me something else. Something way more important, maybe, and way more impactful for sure. The final question she asked me was, can you feel the cold, the water on your body? And you know, I said, yes, I can now. And she said to me, you know, Barb, you're working really hard right now. 00:03:05:17 - 00:03:30:22 Unknown Do you think you could enjoy the swim more? You know, your feet are moving really fast, she said. Your arms are really intense. She said. You know, you're pushing really hard. Do you think you could let the water carry you? You know that's what it's there for. Could you let the water help you versus trying to conquer it? 00:03:31:00 - 00:04:01:09 Unknown And I laughed at that because I felt really like busted in the moment. And I realized, as she said that, that as soon as we set the target of the booty, I went in to do her mode. I was on it literally head down in the water getting to the target, and I. I realized that, yeah, as I was doing that, I wasn't having an experience of swimming. 00:04:01:11 - 00:04:30:03 Unknown Right. My mind was focused on where I was headed. And after that lesson, it struck me that that kind of realization sat with me for a few days, and I started to see more and more evidence of how I'm and on autopilot more often than I realize I can. I'm one place, but in my mind I'm already at the next. 00:04:30:03 - 00:04:55:01 Unknown Or I'm on to the next task, the next meeting, the next, phone call, whatever it might be. And I started to, in that moment, see if I couldn't just drop in more to real time and and take in what was around me, you know, another example of this is I remember going hiking and I chose this location because it was, you know, supposed to be really beautiful. 00:04:55:03 - 00:05:24:04 Unknown I had to take a bus ride to get there. It was like a 45 minute journey. And after about 45 minutes, I realized I wasn't taking in anything. I could have been anywhere walking because I was so in my head thinking about things. I don't even remember what. But as soon as I saw that in that moment, I kind of dropped into the present moment and I started to take in the tree, the view, the air, the crunch of the leaves. 00:05:24:04 - 00:05:54:07 Unknown All of that was unavailable to me 30s prior because of where my mind was. In the same way, in the swim, the pleasure of being in the water, seeing the sun taking in the mist was unavailable to me until tinny pointed it out and I was able to drop in. So that realization started to open me up to how can we move through our lives with more impact? 00:05:54:07 - 00:06:38:05 Unknown Being touched by life, more being touched by what we're up to, by people, by conversation now? Sounds like done. Oh, I had that insight, that lesson. Everything's different. Right? Well, not so much. And recently that lesson came back to me and that realization came back to me in a, in a, in a even deeper way. I was talking to a good friend of mine, Rohini, and I was sharing with her that over the last few months in particular, I'd been feeling uninspired, I'd been feeling more blah and couldn't really seem to find my mojo. 00:06:38:06 - 00:07:05:17 Unknown And as a result, I was problem solving as as you do. Right? Problem? Let's fix it. So I was trying to figure out, is it what I'm doing? Is it how I'm doing it? Am I off track? And you know, am I in the way? Is there something else going on here? And the more I did that, the heavier things felt. 00:07:05:19 - 00:07:31:08 Unknown The harder things felt, the more weighted down. And in the words I shared with Rohini. Just good old plain blah, the more blah I felt. And what's interesting about this is I kind of who it is said I know better. Like I know if you live in your head that, you know, look at that lesson I had from from tinny. 00:07:31:10 - 00:08:06:04 Unknown But you see, I hadn't really seen that there was another layer to this doing and that I had inspiration and being on track and have lined up to what I was doing. But it makes sense that there was no relief when I would try and figure that out. Right? It wasn't often me anything new or fresh. In fact, as I said, it was, making things much more difficult. 00:08:06:06 - 00:08:11:09 Unknown And in that conversation with Rohini. 00:08:11:11 - 00:08:55:10 Unknown I remembered, oh, yeah, inspiration and being lit up by life and feeling connected isn't dependent on what I do right? It's pointing me to where I am inside myself. And when we're living more in our thinking, it's as if we're like one step removed from life. So there's a layer or a filter between us and life. And Rohini used a really beautiful phrase that, has just resonated with me and continues to offer me something when I consider it. 00:08:55:10 - 00:09:23:07 Unknown And that is that we have an opportunity to have a direct experience of life, you know? And yet often what happens is we are interpreting life as we go along or we're observing it versus being in it, where wanting to get out of wanting to help ourselves or help a situation or, you know, where we're a little removed and more up in our heads. 00:09:23:07 - 00:09:47:23 Unknown And again, as I was just sharing, the more and our thinking we are, the less we're able to feel life, the less we're able to take it in and a feeling full way. And I could see that, oh yeah, I had I had been removed. And for those of you not watching the video, it's like I have my hands, the palms of my hands pressed up to each other. 00:09:48:01 - 00:10:19:10 Unknown And there that is a direct experience of life, of the moment, of whatever's happening. And we can be just a little removed, more internal, or we can be really lost in our thinking. And that gap gets bigger. So as we were talking about this, Rohini asked me a question and she said, Barb, can you allow yourself to fully meet whatever the moment is offering you rather than interpreting it? 00:10:19:12 - 00:10:50:02 Unknown Can you allow it? Whatever that is? Can you allow the feelings of fear, the feelings of joy, the feelings of expansion, or the feelings of uncertainty that in that direction is an opportunity to experience more of our aliveness, inspiration, aliveness, connection are all in the direct experience of life, but so often we're a little removed or a lot removed. 00:10:50:04 - 00:11:24:13 Unknown And maybe that's because we don't really love we we, we don't really like what life is presenting us. Or maybe that's because we just have a habit of mind, you know, like me, sort of this habit of observing things rather than being dropped in, you know, another way to think about it, it's like if we're skimming across the surface of our life on to the next thing, or analyzing or observing versus dropped in fully and in a feeling full way, experiencing what's going on around us. 00:11:24:15 - 00:12:10:13 Unknown Well, I knew that Rohini wasn't saying, just feel your feelings, Barb. Like I knew there was more to what she was saying. And that exploration, that journey has opened up some really beautiful things for me and. And I feel like I'm just at the beginning and there's so much more to explore. But part of what's it allowed me is all of a sudden, this distinction appeared inside of me between following where my thinking wants to go or following the sensation of life and feelings. 00:12:10:15 - 00:12:43:11 Unknown I the following the problem solver, the overthinker or the observer versus being dropped in into the body and allowing the sensation of life to be present. Allowing myself to be present to whatever that is now I get why I might not have wanted to do that, why you might not want to always do that. But here's what I've started to see in a very, helpful way. 00:12:43:13 - 00:13:20:07 Unknown When we're sorting life out or trying to control, you know, the experiences we're having, we're trying to sort it out by good experiences, bad, or I'd like more of those and less of those, or we're trying to control it, control ourselves, manage ourselves, manage the external circumstances so that we can feel a certain way. What you begin to see is we become even busier and busier inside and as a result, more removed from life, more removed from the feeling fill nature that's available to all of us. 00:13:20:09 - 00:14:04:12 Unknown If we get comfortable, if we can get comfortable in the full range of the human experience that allows us to move through our lives with more grace to to be open to what life is offering us, to be open to new experiences. You know, in my work and even in my own business, you know, that desire to want to have a new experience of who you could be in the world, to try something new, to say the thing you want to say to move your work in a new direction or your creativity, or maybe to feel more connected to other people, whatever that is. 00:14:04:14 - 00:14:30:03 Unknown Often that is on the other side of discomfort, that is on the other side of a particular feeling. And if we're trying to avoid a particular experience or a particular feeling, we're naturally going to limit what's available to us. If we only allow ourselves to take steps when we feel assured, then we're going to take a lot of last steps. 00:14:30:05 - 00:14:56:07 Unknown If we only allow ourselves to have intimate conversations when we know how it's going to be received, or we know exactly what we're going to say or we know the outcome, then we're not going to be sharing much, often, potentially. Right. If we only will take step forwards, if we feel confident, then again, where we're kind of on shaky ground there. 00:14:56:07 - 00:15:23:18 Unknown So do you see that how we might unintentionally be limiting our experience because we're limiting our willingness to have a direct experience of whatever life is offering us or a direct experience of our own feelings? And here's what I've discovered is when we allow the direct experience and we allow it to just move through us all experience. It's temporary. 00:15:23:18 - 00:15:58:10 Unknown Our feelings are temporary. What creates the suffering or the, extra noise is often because, again, we're following the story, the interpretation of the feeling, rather than just letting the sensation and the energy move through us, and that that distinction becomes a superpower if we allow it to, if we realize first, I can handle it, like I can really handle we've been handling, you know, feelings our whole life. 00:15:58:12 - 00:16:32:17 Unknown And if we don't resist the direct experience, maybe it's an uncomfortableness, maybe it's uncertainty, and we just allow that sensation to move through us. As it moves through us, we find our bearings. We take the next step. And as we're engaging in the next step is we're meeting life where it is. We're getting new information and wisdom. And this is where I think life has to be, you know, has the opportunity to be what Jenny offered me in the water when she said, can you let the water carry you? 00:16:32:19 - 00:17:02:08 Unknown That's what it's there for. Can you work with the water versus conquering the water? And I think that's really apropos for this analogy. Now. It's like, can I trust life? Can I trust myself? Can I trust and allow life to move through me and see where it wants to take me versus being in my mind, trying to control all the variables or being attached to a certain way of thinking? 00:17:02:10 - 00:17:31:16 Unknown You know, my mind is really certain it's the best way, the right way, the only way. And then I create all this tension and upset because I'm fighting against it. I'm trying to conquer it. So what Rohini invited me to, and I'm inviting you to as well, is to see what's available when we meet life. When we allow life, when we allow the direct experience. 00:17:31:16 - 00:18:06:16 Unknown And here's what I've seen and over just the last few weeks and what I'm excited to see more of and and to see what it has to show me is that feeling of aliveness is amazing. You know, being in life, in the feeling and full nature of it is so much more fulfilling than being inside my mind, thinking about all the things I should be doing, or trying to figure it out, or trying to get it right, or waiting until I feel more certain or confident. 00:18:06:18 - 00:18:31:15 Unknown That is never as fulfilling and as rich as when I give myself permission to just engage. So I've noticed over the last couple of weeks the habit I have of when something begins to happen and I get stirred up, or I get a little, you know, sort of resistant to whatever it is I go to, you know, the natural or the habitual thing is to go to my head. 00:18:31:17 - 00:19:19:17 Unknown But I've been cultivating and consciously trying to meet those feelings, those sensations, more because the sensation is where life is. So inspiration and aliveness and the feelings of connection and depth and warmth and even the, you know, adrenaline of something new allows us to that. It's contagious. It lifts us. The feeling of aliveness is so much to offer, and. 00:19:19:19 - 00:19:58:21 Unknown So I invite all of you with me to lean in to the direction of aliveness, to come a little closer, if not like right on up against a direct experience of life and to see what you discover about you, what how it affects the way you move in the world and as you get more comfortable with direct experiences of life and not having to control, what are the new paths you step into? 00:19:58:23 - 00:20:18:09 Unknown What are the heart's desires that you give yourself permission to start to take action on? Thank you so much for listening and for joining me. I look forward to hearing your reflections and your own journey around this as well. Thank you so much.