New Insights Emerge When We Are Willing To Be Authentic & Real | Blog
Can You Dare To Be Real?
It takes courage to settle below all that's expected of us so we can finally touch what is real for us.
Settling below all we've been taught, all of our conditioning, below our plans, what we believe others expect of us, or even our idealized images of ourselves, allows us to discover our own truth; our path, our voice, and our expression. Taking the time to reveal ourselves to ourselves creates a new sense of what's possible.
From that direct knowing, we can bring forward what deeply speaks to us rather than what comes from obligation, unhealthy cultural work norms, or cultivating an image.
Over the last few months, there continues to be a common thread in many of my conversations with clients. “I can’t do it the way I always have.” What is the “it”? Their jobs, their businesses, their lives.
I hear many versions of that theme. Such as, “I don’t want to go on autopilot again. I want to find my inspiration.” “I’m exhausted, burnt out, and uninspired.” or “I want to do work that matters to me without sacrificing my mental wellbeing and health.”
One client, in particular, put it this way, “I’m not going to do busy for busy sakes anymore.” What he meant was doing tasks, and meetings and saying yes when he meant no. At times this has required courage and a willingness to set and stick to his boundaries. What has helped him do this? As he puts it, he has had to learn to slow down and listen to his own internal guidance.
How do we reveal ourselves to ourselves? How do we uncover what truly speaks to us or calls us rather than what comes from conditioning or obligation? How do we discover our true selves and align our behaviors and our expression more authentically?
When I was living in Paris and learning to speak French one of the executives in my company said, “Tu dois être audacieux, Barbara” – You must be daring, Barbara.
That phrase applies in the pursuit of allowing our true self to be revealed to us as well. We must dare to meet what we do not yet know. Or for many, it means we must dare to let our truth emerge. The reward for daring is great. When we dare to listen, to uncover, to let it have room within us, we discover more of who we are.
We meet what's possible when we allow what is within us to come through us. This is living from our authentic nature; our true nature.
When was the last time you followed what you knew to be true in your heart? Can you discern the difference between following others' wisdom for you and following your own wisdom? Can you identify some part of life you need to be more honest about? How can you express more of your authentic self?
These questions are a doorway to your inner knowing. They are not a judgment or assessment of where you are. When we hold them lightly and see where our deeper intelligence takes us, we often uncover a new hope, possibility or desire that is there, right below the surface.
I am often in conversations with clients who struggle with where they are being drawn, internally, and what they think they need to be doing. Somehow, it seems reasonable to disregard the inner pull of something new or different because of obligations, expectations, fears, or not being able to guarantee a certain outcome. From a rational mind, this makes sense.
But, what if that deeper pull IS the path to new freedom, authenticity, and fulfillment?
I was catching up with a previous client and she was enthusiastically telling me about her work. She was lit up and smiling and full of life. Her energy was palatable and the conversation was pure joy. It was striking to me.
I wasn’t surprised at her joy or that she was experiencing more fulfillment in her work. She is bright and talented. Two years ago, that spark was buried beneath obligation, pressure, exhaustion, and the fear that she was stuck. She couldn’t see how to make a change when she had commitments to keep, bills to pay, and people counting on her.
By learning to get beyond the grip of all her rational thinking, beyond the mental looping that kept her from seeing new possibilities, she was able to feel her way into making new changes. She was able to hear and connect to what was real for her. She realized that much of her suffering was coming from being unaligned with her truth. She was overriding her heart’s desires out of logic, and fear that she couldn’t do what felt good to her and fund her life.
Eventually, taking the leap, the necessary steps to put her wisdom and knowing above her fears made sense. It was time. While the last two years have been challenging at times and there were moments she worried that she might have made a mistake, she said that she woke up every day feeling more alive and fulfilled. That feeling carried her through the ups and downs.
When we look back at our lives, we often see that it was the moments when we listened beyond others’ opinions, beyond our worries and fears, and followed those nudges that we discovered the very same thing. The risk of listening and following our authentic voice pales in comparison to the risk of staying where we are.
When we live from our deeper nature, our true self, we are willing to be real. And as we learn to be real, our actions and our work align with what is true for us. From this space, we have a greater impact. We love more genuinely, and we give others permission to do the same.
Dropping all the ideas, conditioned thinking or images we have of who we should be, we discover who we are. This moves us into new expressions and possibilities.
What if you let go of the reasonable and allowed those inner nudges to guide you?
What might be possible in the direction of your heart’s desires?
“When we live from our deeper nature, our true self, we are willing to be real. And as we learn to be real, our actions and our work aligns with what is true for us.”
“Every decision that has prospered me has been when I've listened to that voice within.” – Oprah
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Barbara Patterson is the owner of a global coaching and consulting company helping solopreneurs, entrepreneurs & leaders access more clarity, creativity, have greater impact and higher levels of fulfillment in work and life. She is the founder of Beyond Limits in Business, a global platform and community designed to point people to the source of human potential. That potential resides within and is experienced via our minds. If you’d like to experience in-depth, robust and transformative mentoring for you and your business check out Barb’s 4-month virtual Beyond Limits Small Group Mentoring Program. Barb is also the host of the Real Business Real Lives podcast. You can follow Barb on Linkedin, Twitter and Insta