Where Do You Look for Confidence | Blog
Where Do You Look for Confidence | Blog
Stepping into new possibilities in our work or our lives means we are often moving into the unknown. We don’t have evidence that it will work because we’ve never done it before. If you can’t rely on proof or evidence, then what can you rely on?
Do you need confidence? If so, confidence in what? Do you need faith – if so, faith in what? Do you need trust – if so, trust in what?
When we don’t know what will happen or even what to expect, our minds can start grasping for certainty. We start to look for reassurance that it will work out or it’s worth the risk of going from what I know to what I don’t know.
We want to make a leap, try that new thing, go for that promotion, build our team, offer a new service but get paralyzed because we don’t know if it will work out or if we’ll do well. We want guarantees or to lower the risk factor in our minds.
When I left my executive position to start my own business, all I had was a “knowing” that it was the next step. My plan consisted of moving back to the states from Paris and I knew I would be doing consulting and coaching. That’s it. I did not know where I was going to live, where I would get clients, how I would do or if it would work. I had no clue how it was going to play out, but I had a knowing it was time to leap.
That first year in my business was full of ups and downs. Times when I would feel hopeful and times when I would feel hopeless. Times when I would think, “You got this” and times when I would think, “Maybe you don’t have what it takes.”
I would get worried and start looking for certainty. I would start to look for the “thing” that would assure or guarantee my success. The right formula, the right model, the right behavior or even the right personality. Meaning, I needed more confidence, more discipline, to be more extroverted, etc. The idea that more was needed before I moved forward would keep me stuck in a whirlwind in my mind trying to get that thing.
If I felt insecure or unsure then I went hunting for confidence and certainty. But I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking for confidence and certainty in my plan, my strategy, my skills and my behaviors. What if there was a more powerful place to look?
What if we don’t need confidence or certainty in the plan, the path, our personality or the strategy? What if confidence and certainty come from somewhere else?
When we give up needing to know exactly how it’s going to play out or exactly how it’s going to work, we naturally engage and allow ourselves to be drawn by that inner knowing or nudge that says, “Go here. Try this. Make the leap.”
If we can’t rely on knowing how it will play out or the right formula or strategy, what can we rely on?
We can rely on our innate nature. Each of us comes with a preexisting, innate, powerful internal resource. There is a creative life force that funds our lives, our creativity and our capabilities. This resource helps us rise to the occasion. We figure things, we find our way. Our minds are designed to give us ideas, fresh thinking and new insights that help us navigate change and the unknown.
Seeing this has profound and practical implications. Profound in the sense that when we see it, we get less gripped by limiting thought and have a richer experience of life. We start to move through life with more ease, well-being and connection. The practical implications show up day-to-day. We no longer get stalled by wanting more certainty and we engage with our ideas. As that happens momentum builds. For instance, we make the call to the potential client even though we aren’t exactly sure what they will say. We don’t need a script. We know our minds will deliver what we need in “real-time.” With that knowing, we engage from a free and present mind and we will we know what to share, what matters to them and in that space build great rapport. We listen and respond – our “knowing” shows up in the moment.
It reminds me of a conversation I had last year with Brooke Wheeldon-Reece, President & CEO of The Spark Initiative on the Real Business Real Lives podcast. Brooke said that she could always pull ideas out of a hat. She thought she was a magician: pulling rabbits (ideas) out of a hat. She thought this was unique to her. However, she discovered this was true for everyone. All of us have the capability to pull rabbits out of a hat. We are all connected to this amazing creative potential and our minds are designed to give us fresh thinking. When she realized this was true for everyone, she started to have more confidence in her team. Not because they would get it right all the time but because she knew they had the same potential to problem solve & create new solutions. From this knowing, Brooke was able to rely more powerfully on her team and help them step into new leadership.
There is an infinite creative intelligence that we live in and when we look, we can see it. It’s reliable. You can count on it.
When we see the evidence of this, then we know we have what it takes to make the leap. We don’t have to rely on the right plan or strategy because we know we can rely on our innate nature.
Confidence comes when we experience this for ourselves. We place our certainty and confidence in a more leveraged place. In the creative potential of our minds – our true nature.
“There is an infinite creative intelligence that we live in. It’s reliable. You can count on it.”
Confidence is not a requirement for action. It comes from knowing that we are designed to thrive. We are designed to rise to the occasion.
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Barbara Patterson is the owner of a global coaching and consulting company bringing the insights of performance and fulfillment to clients around the world. She helps organizations, leaders, entrepreneurs and coaches access more clarity, creativity, have greater impact and higher levels of performance in work and life. Barb is the Founder of Beyond Limits in Business and host of the Real Business Real Lives podcast. If you’d like to experience in-depth, robust and transformative mentoring for you and your business check out Barb’s 6-month Beyond Limits Small Group Mentoring Program. You can follow Barb on Linkedin, Twitter and Instagram. You can also subscribe to her weekly blog on her website at barbarapatterson.com